All the pain and all the bullshit and all the fighting is finally paying off.
Maybe Ma’s radiation is taking place three months later than expected. Maybe she is no longer the wonderful, brilliant woman I tried so very hard to become. Maybe my sister and I will never speak again. Maybe everything I used to love about my family has been pulled out from under my feet in the past four months.
But I have these amazing people. I have this amazing life.
And among them and within it I’ve found this amazing father I never knew I had. And I’m so grateful to have him now.
[video]
“I want to say somewhere: I’ve tried to be forgiving. And yet. There were times in my life, whole years, when anger got the better of me. Ugliness turned me inside out. There was a certain satisfaction in bitterness. I courted it. It was standing outside, and I invited it in.” — Nicole Krauss (The History of Love)
Doing things that don’t include sleeping, gyming, or lesson-planning. Erk. I’ll regret this.